Dense, sticky, and heavy

PRESENTED BY THE CARTEL DE LOS SOLES

Happy new year, mabrouk to New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani and his climate policy director Louise Yeoung, feliz Día de los Reyes, and glory to the fifth anniversary of the January 6 Insurrection of the Now Pardoned But Still Committed To Violent Criming MAGA Klan.

On Friday night, the United States of Trump invaded Venezuela, heroically liberating vast reserves of fossil hydrocarbons from the fictional Cartel de los Soles, fictionally run by Venezuela’s strongman president Nicolás Maduro, who was kidnapped with his wife by U.S. forces in a Caracas deadly raid.

On Saturday, Bill McKibben speculated “Just possibly it’s the oil?” Trump immediately confirmed it was, in fact, the dense, heavy, sticky oil. On Saturday, he pronounced:

“We’re going to keep the oil,” Trump boldly prognosticated on Monday. It’s not clear any oil company actually wants to jump on board the Trump coup train, even though he’s planning to put the American people on the hook for the expense. Next stop, Greenland.

Hill Heat will soon be back with the week in climate hearings and other Congressional activity, including the bipartisan, bicameral agreement that climate change is still real—thus our nation still needs appropriations for climate scientists, climate satellites, environmental regulators, protections for public lands, waters, and wildlife, and investments in renewable energy, flood prevention, and drought relief.

Hearings on the Hill:

• 6:45 PM House Rules
  Commerce, Justice, Science; Energy and Water Development; and Interior and Environment Appropriations Act, 2026; SHOWER Act and Affordable HOMES Act

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