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Congratulations and Condolences

Before the cherry blossoms, only good things. Sadly, the race-war teleporter chickened out

Author

Brad Johnson
March 25, 2026

PRESENTED BY HYPER-ROTKEHLCHEN

Before the cherry blossoms, only good things!

Tonight at 7 pm, join Jane Fonda, yes actually, to phonebank for the climate candidates running for Phoenix’s utility board; early voting has already begun for the April 7th Salt River Project Board election.

Congratulations, America! The Data Center Working Group has released the Data Center Site Fight Guide, an epic resource for any community interested in stemming the scourge of hyperscalers.1

Congratulations, America! Dominion Energy’s $11.5 billion wind farm off Virginia Beach‘s coast delivered its first power to the grid on Monday.

The cherries are in peak bloom in Washington, D.C., weeks before their pre-Anthropocene peak. Credit: Brad Johnson

The cherries are in peak bloom in Washington, D.C., weeks before their pre-Anthropocene peak. Credit: Brad Johnson

Condolences, America! A mega-report from Grist, led by Jake Bittle, lays out how climate pollution is fueling surging insurance premiums across the nation. Even before Trump’s tariffs and oil-war shocks, climate pollution has been sending the price of food soaring. Tomorrow at 10 am, Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) is leading a spotlight forum on how climate polluters are driving up household costs through rising climate destruction.

Condolences, America! Trump gave the French a billion dollars to kill two offshore wind farms, in return for nothing. TotalEnergies “promised” to “invest” in oil and gas projects it was already committed to, such as the Rio Grande LNG terminal it partially owns. Despite the complete lack of confirmed changes in ownership stakes or equity commitments, the energy press has reported Trump’s bribe as “reallocated funds” to fossil-fuel projects “in exchange.” There was no exchange! The money is gone to chez Patrick Pouyanné, and we’re not even getting any new gaz naturel liquéfié bomb trains for it. C’est dommage.

Condolences, America! FEMA’s teleporting race-war voter-fraud QAnon conspiracy theorist Gregg Phillips was dropped from the witnesses at today’s DHS hearing, replaced by Trump’s FEMA PR flack Victoria Barton.

They're removing the R from Sprite to modernize the brand

— weeder (@weeder.bsky.social)2026-03-24T17:18:28.808Z

EHRMAGERD, JERBS!

The Clean Energy Transition Institute is seeking a new executive director ($155K-$175K, Seattle) to continue the strong work of its founding ED, Eileen Quigley.

Public Citizen’s Climate Program is working to open a new front in the fight to hold Big Oil accountable for its role in the climate crisis: criminal prosecution. The program is looking for a legal director ($170K-$180K, D.C.) and senior legal strategist ($109K-$160K) to build the foundation for climate criminal prosecutions.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) is hiring an energy and environment legislative assistant ($75K, D.C.).

The Association to Preserve Cape Cod is hiring a campaign manager to oversee the its new The Cape We Shape campaign ($62K-$70K, Dennis, Mass.).

Amazon Employees for Climate Justice (AECJ) is hiring a worker organizer ($100K, Seattle), to be filled by June 2026.

aus voller Kehle singendes Rotkehlchen

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1  “Hyperscalers” sounds like bad science fiction (it is) but does sound better than “fracking-powered AI-slop data centers with city-scale energy and water demand.”

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